During a recent meeting with potential clients, we were asked if we offered a military discount to active military. We had not been asked this before and said we would consider it. We quickly decided it would be an excellent idea and we now offer a 10% discount to active military. We listen to our clients. Learn more about mediation athttps://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (374) 10/11/20
A high school classmate recently shared a funny story about her marriage and someone else’s divorce which is worth sharing.
“We lived together for eight years before we got married. We had been saving for a house and wanted to start a family so we didn’t want to spend money on a wedding, so we eloped to a local courthouse. We were ushered into a courtroom where a bitter divorce fight was going on. We sat in the back and listened to insults and anger. Finally, the bailiff handed a note to the judge who stopped the proceedings and called a short recess. “There’s a couple here who wants to get married!”
We stood before the judge and said all the words to make us married. Then he said to us “And I never want to see you in here again!!” Everyone laughed.
Maybe more couples should get married during a recess in a divorce hearing in court!
Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (373) 10/6/20
I recently enjoyed reading in the New York Times “In Negotiations, Givers Are Smarter Than Takers” by Adam Grant.” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/27/smarter-living/negotiation-tips-giver-taker.html?smid=em-share His premise is “givers are the rising tide that lifts all boats.” It is fair to say, I like the article because it confirmed what I have always believed. Parties to mediation can be giver or takers and can either see that the pie is fixed or that the pie can be expanded. In successful mediations, the mediator encourages the parties to be givers. There is a bonus for both parties. The other side usually is more agreeable and also gives more. Grant finds that parties who expand the pie, find ways to help the other side that cost them nothing.
He also found that “the most successful parties cared as much about the other party’s success as their own. They refused to see negotiations as win-lose or the world as zero-sum. They understood that before you could claim value, you needed to create value. They didn’t declare victory until they could help everyone win.” Giving also helps improve both parties’ emotional state of mind. It is also easier to be a giver if you see that the pie can be expanded. In mediation we come up with creative solutions that expand the pie resulting in better results for both parties.
Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (371) 7/2/20
The Zoom mediations have been proceeding even better than expected. They are different but they work. One advantage has been screen sharing allows us to review documents with our clients in real time. We anticipate that we still offer Zoom meditations as an option once the health crisis passes. One of the difficulties has been signing and notarizing documents. Signing can be a little more involved. We email the documents in PDF to the parties. One party signs the documents and then mails to the other party for signing and filing. Notarizing was a problem. Arizona allows online notarization and there are numerous programs that provide online notarization. However, you must share the documents with the provider and we felt this did not allow for enough privacy and security. Fortunately, the Arizona Supreme Court’s Administrative Order No. 2020-59 Authorizing a Modification of Court Rules During a Public Health Emergency came to the rescue. It ordered that Courts may accept for filing any document identified under Rule 14 (a) Rules of Family Law Procedure without notarization if they are accompanied by a photocopy of the filer’s driver license or other government-issued identification card.
Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (370) 6/03/20
We’re into our third week of mediating via Zoom with clients and so far, so good. We’ve all learned how to make sure our video and audio are on and that we’re sitting close enough and far enough from the computer screen so that we look like our normal selves and how to access Gallery View so we can all see each other on Zoom. To make sure no unwanted folks join our meetings, we email all clients a password and “lock the room” once they’ve joined our meeting.
Meeting in real life is still everyone’s preference but given stay at home orders in place, mediating online is a good second choice. Some clients actually prefer it because they do not have to drive the sometimes long distance to our office and feel more relaxed mediating in the comfort of their home.
Arizona recently passed an online Notary statute but since we would have to work through a private third party provider and send our clients’ documents to that service, we decided that the risk of personal client information possibly being compromised was not worth the convenience of online notarization.
So, until we meet again in real life, we look forward to seeing you online!
Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com
CDM 369 4/22/20
During these unsettled and anxiety provoking times as people focus on the health of their families, we assume that mediating their conflicts is on the back burner. When this health crisis is no longer in the forefront of minds and you are able to address mediating your conflicts, please know that we at Center for Divorce Mediation will work with you remotely if that is your preferred option. We are available to mediate via conference call, FaceTime, Skype or Zoom. In the meantime, stay healthy!