Over the years I have seen many couples get married for the wrong reasons. They often think that marrying will save the relationship. They often have a child for the same reason. I was reminded of this by the article in the March 3, 2010 New York Times by Sam Roberts entitled, ”
Study Finds Cohabiting Doesn’t Make a Union Last” You can read the entire article at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/03/us/03marry.html Mr. Roberts writes about a study done by
the National Center for Health Statistics using data from the National Survey of Family Growth conducted in 2002. He says, “Couples who live together before they get married are less likely to stay married, a new study has found. But their chances improve if they were already engaged when they began living together. The likelihood that a marriage would last for a decade or more decreased by six percentage points if the couple had cohabited first, the study found.” Interestly, he goes on to report that “Half of couples who cohabit marry within three years…If both partners are college graduates, the chances improve that they will marry and that their marriage will last at least 10 years.” Mr. Roberts or the study don’t say why this is the case for non college graduates but it I think it may be as I said that they are trying to fix an already broken relationship. I have also noted that marriage may change a relationship. I knew a couple where the woman was in control when they were living together and the man was in control when they got married. I also know that people often behave one way in order to get married and then behave differently when they do get married. This is another reason why I strongly advocate premarital counseling and a more wide spread process for letting divorcing non married couples. What are your experiences? Share them with us and perhaps help a couple from making the wrong decision. One last comment, the article also notes that in general one in five marriages will dissolve within five years. On in three will last less than ten years.
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Cohabiting and Divorce