
I never thought I would do a blog quoting Donald Rumsfeld but here it is. I have been reading Gambling with Armageddon by Martin Sherwin. In the book he quotes Rumsfeld as saying, “There are known knowns;….things we know we know….There known unknown; things we [know we] do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns –the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” I would add to this things a person thinks he or she knows but doesn’t really know. I have found in mediation over the years that most couples have unknown unknowns. Couples often think they have agreed on all the issues in their divorce until we raise unknown unknowns. This does not usually lead to controversy but it does help the couple avoid future problems. Mediating issues which the person thinks he or knows but doesn’t know is more difficult. The skillful mediator must correct the assumption without appearing to take sides or creating an impasse. Sometimes, the mediator must resort to suggesting the couples check with their respective review attorneys. In any event is an issue the mediator can’t avoid. Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (382) 6/15/21