I recently enjoyed reading in the New York Times “In Negotiations, Givers Are Smarter Than Takers” by Adam Grant.” https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/27/smarter-living/negotiation-tips-giver-taker.html?smid=em-share His premise is “givers are the rising tide that lifts all boats.” It is fair to say, I like the article because it confirmed what I have always believed. Parties to mediation can be giver or takers and can either see that the pie is fixed or that the pie can be expanded. In successful mediations, the mediator encourages the parties to be givers. There is a bonus for both parties. The other side usually is more agreeable and also gives more. Grant finds that parties who expand the pie, find ways to help the other side that cost them nothing.
He also found that “the most successful parties cared as much about the other party’s success as their own. They refused to see negotiations as win-lose or the world as zero-sum. They understood that before you could claim value, you needed to create value. They didn’t declare victory until they could help everyone win.” Giving also helps improve both parties’ emotional state of mind. It is also easier to be a giver if you see that the pie can be expanded. In mediation we come up with creative solutions that expand the pie resulting in better results for both parties.
Learn more about mediation at https://www.center-divorce-mediation.com CDM (371) 7/2/20